(Check out The Vince Tornado Show on YouTube)
#5: “Let’s talk about it later.” Just be honest: your mind has swept her words under the mental rug and you’re looking for a way out. You don’t want to talk about it at all – ever again. You just don’t want to deal with the situation. So, this is the last, desperate resort to get out of the dragging conversation. Just deal with it now and get it over with. Then, after you think you’ve dealt with it, prepare yourself for her to bring up the issue again… years later – repeatedly.
#4: “Sorry, I didn’t get your text.” The facts are you more than likely got the text, call, or email and just plain forgot about it. Or, you got it and just didn’t want to deal with it. Don’t tell her: “I didn’t get your message.” She’s going to wonder: “He gets all my other messages, so why not this one?” Just be honest with her. Or, she’ll see right through it – just like she can see right through that t-shirt you’ve been hanging onto since high school.
#3: “You look fine.” You’re ready to go out and she asks you that dreaded question: “Does this dress make me look fat?” She might also ask: “Does this make my butt look big?” First, you must never ever hesitate when answering this question. Second, the answer must always be “no.” It may not be that she is asking a “fat” question. She could also be asking about her overall appearance. It looks great, right? Except for that one thing: the way she did her makeup, a newer hairstyle, or that one dress you’re not a huge fan of. Shove that nagging small detail down, bro. Say something about that one, small thing and it’s time for an inquisition.
#2: “No, I wasn’t looking.” I pity the dude who is asked the “were you looking” question. This is a no-win situation. If you say “no,” then you’re going to get accused of lying. If you say yes, you’ve just opened yourself to a long sermon, brother. But, let’s just get one thing straight – you were looking.
#1: “The game’s almost over.” We all know the last five minutes of the game take the longest. So fellas, stop playing this card. She knows when you’re lying.
BONUS: “I understand.” No, no you don’t. And, you never will.
(All photos courtesy of Shutterstock)
Thanks for checking out B93's Conrad's Blog Page
Hometowns: Rives Junction/Springport, MI
Current Location: Spring Lake, MI
Fav Foods: Anything from Fortino's in Grand Haven, Toast N' Jams in Muskegon, my wife grew up in Grand Haven & loves Clover Bar Pizza
Things I Hate: DJ's being rude (either on the phone or in person)… All the B-93 jocks try to be very polite!
Fav Country Artists:Chris Stapleton, Granger Smith/Earl Dibbles Jr, Cam, Frankie Ballard, Jason Aldean, Zac Brown Band
Old School: Waylon, Johnny Cash, Skynyd, Hank
Something You Might Not Know About Me: I've been married to my wife Susan for over 24 years. She is a now runs her own business writing grants for non-profits in Michigan. My youngest son, Ben (19), had major brain surgery for seizures in Aug '05. He is completely recovered and is a sophomore at GVSU! My other son, Harry, is 21 wants to be a Naturalist/Vet goes to MCC.
My big life changing experience was a motorcycle accident during the Roofsit in Sept '06. It was humbling to have so many listeners praying for me during my 6 operations. I was off the air for 6 weeks and in a wheelchair for about 5-6 months. Since then I have experienced complete kidney failure and have been on dialysis for 2 years. Spring of 2010 I organized TEAM CONRAD for the National Kidney Foundation of Michigan. Our 1st Kidney Walks did over 100K-- WOW! I was blessed in Jan 2011 with a kidney transplant from listener/donor Kristin O'Leary from Grandville. I have so much to be thankful for... but especially for your thoughts & prayers. Please lookup my TEAM CONRAD group page on Facebook.